You want to know why the Conservatives are in power so often, even though their policies have the compassion of a orangutan with his penis caught in a zip? Check the way they dealt with their leadership contest. Give them a week, and most of the candidates have withdrawn, leaving the alpha in place. They make like gangsters, and I'm not saying that the withdrawals were precipitated by a word in the shell-like.
Except I totally am. I'd just love to see the pictures they showed Gove to get him out the race. They must have been tasty.
Labour, meanwhile, can't run a palace coup without letting the papers in on the act. If you want to assassinate a leader, even metaphorically, don't announce it. Even Professor X had files on his X-Men 'case they needed taking down. If there isn't a file in the whip's office with a picture of Corbyn doing something to shame him - like wearing a properly tailored suit, son - then Labour needs some new enforcers.
I reckon Corbyn's got too many principles to have his own protocols for Mutually Assured Destruction. Not saying it'd be nice if his boy Seamus Milne was strolling round Parliament remindin' the rebels of that time they pumped a donkey, but it might have shut the chaos down.
So, the papers have it that Labour is going to split in two. Good. Fuck them. The Tories were on the fucking ropes, and they decided that was the perfect moment to have a domestic. We've seen in the last two referendums that the political class have not been listening to the populace. Maybe a pair of parties would have to pay attention instead of relying on brand loyalty.
Too long, didn't read? Try this: The Tories win because they are ruthless. This is moronic political commentary, written by a moron, because that is all politics deserves.
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