GKV: A cab-beret? Anyway, Eric... last words. From tonight, can you tell me what cabaret is, so that there can be too much of it?
EK: Er... I wouldn't consider myself an expert on the subject, but as far as I've seen it's about sex, entertainment and magic?
GKV: I do consider myself an expert. On everything. And the secret is you keep saying that nothing has an essential nature. I am not sure that "too cabaret" has any meaning... no surprise that my conclusion is that Gary Barlow hadn't thought about it too much..
EK: I agree. Too cabaret? No such thing.
GKV: However, this leaves us with a problem. The idea was for us to work out what cabaret is, then form a double act, excise anything cabaret, then go on X-Factor and win. But if we can't define it... maybe we had better stick to Live Art.
EK: Well, we could go in reverse - work out what cabaret is not, and then proceed. But yeah, I think we're built for Live Art rather than X-Factor.
GKV: That's two cabaret and variety nights on the trot, and we have not managed to figure much out. Sex, entertainment and magic sounds like Saturday night round your house, and the opposite of every night round mine. And you ended up on stage. I know the critic is meant to immerse themselves but seriously... 
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