Don't Vote. It only encourages them.

I think I had better swear off politics right now, or I am going to be spending the next few months explaining why, despite my belief in the necessity of environmentally conscious policies, Patrick Harvey's egotism puts me right off The Green Party (short version, he can't keep his coupon off any literature). So here are my resolutions for the upcoming elections.

I accept that all politicians are idiots and liars. 
And I do mean all of them. I can't prove it, but it is, as Dr Fox said, they have got more DNA in common with crabs than humans. Voting for any of them is the lesser of multiple evils - remember Nick Clegg and his support for students? I refuse to be seduced by old men with beards, or clean shaven thrusting leaders, or humble yet thoughtful women. I have been doing criticism long enough to know its another act.

Tommy Sheridan - where do I begin?
Frankly, voting for Tommy is to ignore his misogyny. No, wait: stop your internal debate. He abused women in court just because they slept with him. However, Tommy made this video: it is the funniest thing I have seen this week. The way he talks to the prospective voter reveals that he knows what I know: only a fucking idiot would vote for him.

In his latest short video, Tommy talks about how the Regional Votes are counted in the Scottish Parliament elections, and how you can make your vote count by giving your 2nd vote to Solidarity on 5th 

 I am not playing favourites, though.
I don't like any of the politicians. I can't talk about their policies because they are irrelevant: they won't remember what they promised within ten minutes of seeing their first pay cheque. 

Patrick Harvey probably represents the party that I have most sympathy with, but the day he turned up at a Women For Independence Party made me realise that he is more interested in himself than, like, developing a communitarian approach to campaigning (hands up who knows the name of his co-convenor).

Nicola Sturgeon has conducted herself with dignity and intelligence, but her party has not delivered on its pledge to create fairer taxes. 

I have no idea who is leading the Tories or Labour in Scotland, so I can't pick out their weaknesses. And I do not care enough to go to a search engine.

I like these people, though
Although I do reserve the right to change my mind if they ever go Wings Over Scotland on me. 

I await the comments on how immoral I am
Please... tell me how wars were fought for my right to vote (not my right not to vote), or how I am letting the Tories win...