It's Mr Socks!

Some Socks, Yesterday

Having spotted an articled in a major Sunday newspaper that was pretty much written from a press release I had also received (thereby transforming a puff piece into part of the national debate about sexual identity), I have decided to pay more attention to the apparently random messages that turn up in my inbox. Sadly, there won't be much about theatre in this post.

However, we do have the latest message from Mr Socks. Mark Hall, who has the role of "Gentleman Creation Officer" at an online sock company is my favourite PR personality. Every so often, he sends out a press release to remind me about how I can get socks through subscription. But he adds value, by including a few top tips about being a gentleman.

You know that joke about how "I missed the memo" on a particular social code? Mark "Mr Socks" Hall is the man who sends the memos.

Today, he's got a shocking headline. 

Men's Brains "Wired Differently" To Forget Special Dates

Apparently, there's a bunch of research (the references are not quoted, suggesting Mr Socks has been reading those physiology books about gender difference that I picked up last year at the charity shop) that explains why men tend to forget "miss significant dates such as Valentine's Day, anniversaries and birthdays."

Instead, they remember stuff like who won the World Cup, and what was the number one hit single of 2006. Mr Socks bemoans the tragedy of men getting the blame for not remembering their lover's birthday.

"When she gets that last-minute bunch of flowers and dented box of chocolates that were clearly bought from the garage down the road on Valentine's Day, it's obviously because of genetic differences," said Hall.

"According to researchers, men use different genes to women when they come to make connections needed to store long-term memories, making men better at what they term "tactical" memories such as travel directions; while women tend to have "emotional" memories, such as special dates and anniversaries."

Although Mr Socks is presuming it's only heteronormative men who suffer, he goes on to gives us a list of the things men  forget. 

Birthdays (except their own, leading to my annual strop when my mother's card arrives a day late)

Valentine's Day (the card shops fortunately remind us with advertising displays)

Anniversaries (I never forget the date I first saw Les Ballets C de la B)

"What did I just say?" (Got me there)

Where they left the car keys (No car... but replace with door keys)

Partner's dress size (I know this one!)

Simple instructions on not burning the dinner

Paying bills on time (Seriously, not funny, dude.)

Partner's choice of wedding song (Please Release Me by Tom Jones)

Remembering to come home from work, and not to go to the pub (or in my case, not go to see avant-garde performance art at Tramway)

Of course, Mr Socks ends with an appeal to men to get organised - and the first step is to get a subscription to monthly black sock deliveries. 

There's something about Mr Sock's guile that charms me. It's pretty clear that this is an example of stealth marketing - although the stealth is pretty risible. But I love the way Mr Socks just seems to keep finding little facts about gender and turning them into a sales opportunity. So, until Mr Socks finds out I am writing about him, and sues me for libel, I am going to share them. 

I am even going to give a link to the service. 

To be honest, Mr Sock's fantastic facts jar with my own vision of gender identity. I have got into football a bit more just lately, mainly thanks to Watford FC's shift to a more continental style of play. Apart from that, I don't think I conform to the stereotype of masculinity. Mr Sock's etiquette tips are probably more helpful to more traditionally masculine men. 

Mind you, monthly sock deliveries might help my feet smell less like the changing rooms of Tramway. 

"Genes or otherwise, a gentleman simply needs to make small changes to his behaviour and he'll reap the rewards," said Mr Socks. "Convert those emotional memories to tactical ones, and the battle's half won."

"Men may be forgetful animals, but at least a sock subscription takes one thing off their mind, with a regular delivery of socks to their door. That might just leave enough space in their heads to remember February the 14th."