I am going to write a blog post about Miley
Cyrus. This would appear to be the quickest way to get something reposted all
over Facebook. So, I have an opinion of some sort about a famous singer.
Apparently, Miley Cyrus swings about on wrecking balls. She’s a nexus for the
discussion between post-feminism (here defined as a well-paid performer’s right
to lick jackhammers) and the emerging wave of feminists who would prefer it if
pop stars didn’t run about in their skids.
Miley Cyrus is nothing to do with me. I
haven’t even watched Miley Cyrus’ video. I am mentioning Miley Cyrus’ name in
every sentence because it gets attention. It’s the blogger’s equivalent of hip-dancing
in their underpants. I disapprove of Miley Cyrus, even though I am more likely
to be reading a Beginners Guide to Pretentious Theory than watching whatever
award show Miley Cyrus was on. Miley Cyrus. Wasn’t her dad the one who did Achy Breaky Heart?
Sinead O’Connor said something disapproving
about Miley Cyrus, and everyone posted it on Facebook. I hope she can turn that
into record sales, because I like Sinead O’Connor. Not her reggae period – that
was ill judged. I liked it when she had hits, and tore up pictures of the Pope
on American television.
We could do with more celebrities like
Sinead O’Connor, and less like Miley Cyrus. Sinead O’Connor has as much
intelligence as most of the people I know. Miley Cyrus is, as Sinead O’Connor
noted, a puppet of corporate interests.
I think there is something about how Miley
Cyrus is being characterised as a victim of unscrupulous music business people.
All of Miley Cyrus’ sexualised antics are part of a marketing strategy. It’s a
bit of a punk strategy – being offensive to get attention.
Of course, when Miley Cyrus gets Sinead
O’Connor to respond to her antics, that just keeps her name in the public eye.
Lady Gaga had to wear a meat suit. Miley Cyrus had to run about in the nip.
Of course, I am not really annoyed about
Miley Cyrus. I haven’t seen Miley Cyrus’ video. I just want reposts of this
post. Miley Cyrus fits into a long line of singers who haven’t had an impact on
my life. I am too busy listening to obscure bands like Acid Mothers Temple or
digging Shostakovich. But I reckon if I mention Miley Cyrus enough, I might
convince somebody that my finger is on the pulse of popular culture.
Although I think that popular culture is
now fragmented because of the Internet, Miley Cyrus is trending. Miley Cyrus is
the last illusion that we have a shared public, popular culture.
Miley Cyrus won’t be around in a few
months. Cultural memory is so short that Spin magazine can publish a Miley
Cyrus parody that rips off an Onion parody of Marilyn Manson. She’ll still turn
up on the occasional phone’s predictive text, but her meaning will be vague.
Miley Cyrus might tell us something about
how far an artist has to go to be shocking now. There might be a line from
Madonna’s video for Like a Virgin to
Miley Cyrus’ Wrecking Ball. That line
describes the increased sexualisation of pop performers (female).
Because Miley Cyrus was a child star, there
is the issue of how Miley Cyrus represents femininity to young women. Miley
Cyrus might be inspiring young women to wear their underpants on the outside
when they go out for a night on Sauchiehall Street. Miley Cyrus might be a
symbol of the hyper-sexuality of popular culture.
Miley Cyrus is a splendid semiotic puzzle.
And like the best semiotic puzzles, which trigger conversation about tonnes of
stuff, Miley Cyrus is a blank canvas. The real Miley Cyrus, whom Sinead
O’Connor addresses, is irrelevant. The significance of Miley Cyrus is
important.
Miley Cyrus is the spectacle. Miley Cyrus
is the matrix. Miley Cyrus distracts attention. Beneath Miley Cyrus are the
competing alienations of consumerism. Miley Cyrus swings about on a wrecking
ball, above the heads of the entire world. Keep looking at Miley Cyrus. Don’t
look at the man behind the screen, operating the machine that swings the
wrecking ball.
Sinead O’Connor did mention who this man
might be. But, seriously, folks, I’d rather that Miley Cyrus reposts were
replaced by posts that reveal how our current Prime Minister is going to remove
accessibility to benefits to under twenty-fives who aren’t Miley Cyrus. Maybe a
post about how my local job centre includes an advert for lap-dancing between
minimum wage cleaning posts – not that I am criticisng anyone who is a
lap-dancer, but that I wasn’t even given an interview for it.
Actually, it’s all probably okay. It only
takes a click to repost a Miley Cyrus article. It’s not like all the reposts
show any commitment to the Miley Cyrus debate. For the record, I would prefer
it if Miley Cyrus didn’t do all that nudey stuff (it is no accident that my
spell-check tries to replace nudey with needy…). Miley Cyrus comes across as a
bit desperate, and I worry Miley Cyrus’ll be in rehab if she carries on like
this. And I don’t think Miley Cyrus’ fashion choices – and Miley Cyrus’ sexual
bravado – are necessarily positive representations of female empowerment.
Hell, if anyone has read this far – thank
you. But you only needed to repost it. Miley Cyrus.
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