Tuesday, 15 December 2015

Star Wars is Back...

I like Star Wars and I can not lie

You Trekkies can't deny

That on Boxing day we'll be in the huge queue

And a big smile on my face

I get sprung

Wanna buy that stuff

Like a bag of farts I want to huff.

I'm hooked and I can't stop watching

Oh, Jar Jar, I wanna get with ya

And pretend you never happened

The critics tried to warn me

But that director's cut

Make Me so horney

Ooh, Leia in a slave kit,

Chewbacca shouting out to Han,

Well use me use me 'cause the prequels were utter shit.

I've seen them in CGI

What I consume makes I

It's Lens Flare

Got it goin like a X-Wing Jet

I'm tired of magazines

Saying Tarkovsky is the thing

Take the average geeky fan

and ask him that

It's gotta pack Darth and Luke.

So Fellas (yeah) Fellas(yeah)

Have your tickets for the front (hell yeah)

Well queue up, queue up, queue up, queue up, queue in your cos-play!

The Force is back

(LA face with crappy effects)

I like Death Stars round and big

And when I'm throwin a gig

I just can't help myself

I'm actin like an ewok chief

Now here's my rebel beef.

I wanna get you home

And watch you on DVD

I aint talkin bout Star Trek boys

I bought up all the toys

I want 'em real rare and costly

So kids can't afford to buy 'em

Criticulous's in trouble

Beggin for a piece of that bubble

So I'm lookin' at YouTube videos

Knockin these vloggers who talk the trash

Saying that the Phantom Menace sucks

I'll keep my sci-fi like Vader

A word to the other cult scene

I ain't gonna buy your zine

I won't cus or hit ya

But I gotta be straight when I say I wanna dis ya

Til the break of dawn

Solo Got it goin on

A lot of geeks won't like this song

'cause them punks like hard cyber style

But I'd rather ignore plot gaps

And less realism than an X-File

And I'm down to get metachlorins on

So ladies (yeah), Ladies (yeah)

Do you wanna roll in my Tie Fighter(yeah)

Then turn around

Stick it out

Even Whovians got to shout

Star Wars is back

(LA face with the all new effects)

Yeah baby

When it comes to fiction

Roddenberry ain't got nothin to do with my selection

Star Date 1966

Ain't got Leia's hips...

So your girlfriend watches X-Factor

Playin Matrix sequels that ya hacked her

But Cowell ain't got a Grand Moff on his panel

My anaconda don't want none unless you've got Lando

You can do Vulcan Peace Signs, but please don't forget Obi Wan

Some brothers say that Mulder's the Man

And tell you that the science's off

So they toss it and leave it

And I pull up quick to retrieve it

So critics says you're dated

But my love for Luke is fated

'cause the script is poor but the fights are kickin

And I'm thinkin bout stickin

To the exaggerated dames in the comic books

You aint it miss Thing

Give me a plot with a single sister

A single woman, blink and you'll miss her!

Some caknucklehead tried to dis

'cause X-Men aren't on my list

Cyclops had game but he ain't Darth Maul

Avengers II dropped the plot idiot ball

So what if the story was done

On the run and left an incest subtext

I'll buy in to this media machine and consume the lot,

Star Wars got back

Star Wars got back

Little shit in tha middle but now it got much back

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