Sunday, 14 September 2014

Scots are more passionate, more experienced and better kissers than their English counterparts

After finishing my dissertation, I am trawling my in-box to see what I have missed. Important stuff, apparently. I'm surprised no-one had thought of using this angle in the referendum debate. 

11th September 2014
A poll commissioned by comparing Scottish and English men has revealed that Scots are more passionate, more experienced and better kissers than their English counterparts.

More than 1300 members of, the leading extramarital dating site, responded to the survey.

Oh, it's them again. Ironically, extra-marital sex is one of the few practices that the vilearts does not endorse. 

Ahead of the Scottish referendum next week results reveal the Scots coming out on top with an overall grade of 7.7 compared to a measly 6.2 grade for the Brits. Scots really know what they're doing with those bagpipes!

I think they missed a pun here... something like 'this explains why all those people are shouting 'yes' all the time'.

As well as being ranked as more romantic, funnier and better kissers, the Scots obviously also know how to use what’s under their kilts, as the results revealed them as having more stamina in bed, more passion and more experience.

I have really gubbed this referendum. I say I want to see engaged
theatre, but when there are loads of political plays I sat back and said that I wouldn't discuss my political position. I'm like one of those cricket guys who say 'politics has no place in sport,' only I didn't even say that much.

The two areas English men ranked highest were in the looks department and for being massive party animals...why would Scotland ever want independence from that? 

It's probably because, like Harold Hobson, I am not convinced by political theatre - the answers I seek are existential. Tynan said everything is political, but he never really got the absurdists. 

“The result on 18 September may remain uncertain, but this poll is absolutely clear Scottish - English relations could not be better – at least in the bedroom!” Said Christoph Kraemer. “It looks like English men could learn a thing or two from the Scots, before the ladies start searching for their own Loch Ness monsters!”

About was founded in 2002 by Noel Biderman, known as the “King of Infidelity” in international media. It offers married people a 100% safe and anonymous alternative to look for a discreet affair. Currently the leading extramarital dating site has more than 1 million UK members and 28 million members overall in 41 countries around the world.

Participating female users: 1.397
Which grade from 1 to 10 (1=not even worth a yawn,10=mind-blowing) would you give lovers from Scotland vs. England in the following categories?
                                       Scotland          England

Romantic                                  9                    5

Sense of humour                       8                    6

Best kisser                                 9                    6

Best looking                              5                    9

No, too bored, now. I'm sure the rest will turn up in The Scotsman or somewhere. 

Stamina in bed 8 / 5

Party animal 6 / 9

Experienced 8 / 6

Passionate 9 / 5

Generous 8 / 5

Sexiest accent 7 / 6

Final grade 7.7 / 6.2

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