Monday, 22 September 2014

Kill Johnny Glendenning - The Royal Lyceum Theatre wiv MAD CYRIL


Gawd luv DC Jackson, but thass one-oh-one stuff. Ya wanna protect the neck ov some hack, you gotta put ya good lads on the case, not a coupla muppets who are frettin abaht gettin shit on their shoes. Nofing I like more than a saucy caper, and that Johnny Gildenning is quite the geeza. Still, ya won't catch me gettin tied up by my business partners. Never go inta the farmhouse alone: ain't ya seen The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, son?

Kill Johnny might look a bit like one ov those Guy Ritchie numbers - shit gangsters and hard-nosed romance, but it's all west coast Scotchland, innit? The sorts seem to be in charge, even when they're Keif or on the Shawshank, and Johnny boy goes abaht wearin a Ranger's top. Not sure whever he's a football lad or a grafter. As for the gaffa, Andrew... well, I know his type. Smarts suits and more likely to give ya GBH ov the ear ole than a propa slap.

Still, I'm propa havin this: Johnny is a stand-up geeza, like ya want in ya crew. Ready for a bit ov a tussle, knows it's an act and can calm dahn when needed. Tries to keep orff the collateral. Those muppets turn out ta be the main men, kind ov, an it's happy endins all round, long as ya ain't been shot by a granny afta havin a dump, ground up inta pig-feed or burnt alive (betta than gettin ya meat and two sliced, I sppose). It's a laff, innit?

Still, I reckon the fight scenes could uv been a bit more tasty - really see the knife goin in, know what I mean?

Am I havin it? I am havin it SWAG.




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