South Bank

Sadly, the Wessex Regionalists didn't help me decide whether to vote for or against independence. They offered a range of reasons for both sides.

Instead, I have found a reason to vote... for whatever side agrees to partner with the South Bank Centre, and gets their programme to come up to Glasgow. Look at this line up.

* Wendy Houstoun world premiere (she was in Forced Entertainment that time that they were life-changing) 

* Louise Lecavalier UK premiere (as given a standing ovation by Ian Smith out of Mischief La Bas)

 * Paul White UK premiere 

* ZooNation’s smash hit Groove on Down the Road returns

* UK premiere and London premiere of two LIFT Festival & 14-18 NOW shows * Gauri Sharma Tripathi world premiere

* Complete reading of all 154 Shakespeare sonnets led by Simon Russell Beale and Harriet Walter (we can miss this one out)

* Leading actors and poets read 50 great love poems from the last 50 years 

* Dramatised reading of Plato’s Symposium (not as good as The Republic, but an easy entry into the second greatest think of all time) *

I am close to not being able to speak with excitement and envy.

As part of Southbank Centre’s fifth Alchemy Festival, Ben Walsh and the Orkestra of the Underground present the UK premiere of Fearless Nadia – in homage to stunt legend Mary Evans (25 May). Australian born Mary Evans, aka Fearless Nadia, became a star of silent era Bollywood cinema, with her daredevil antics and death-defying stunts. The 12-strong orchestra of Australian and Indian musicians perform a live score to montages of her most famous film Diamond Queen (1940).

Stunts! Bollywood!

In June, Southbank Centre presents the world premiere of Wendy Houstoun’s new solo piece Pact With Pointlessness (5-6 June). A pioneering, boundary-shifting movement/physical theatre performer, Houstoun’s new work is a mix of comedy, spoken word and performance offering a frank demonstration of how it feels to be knocked sideways by death, renegotiate and carry on.

Also in June, Southbank Centre is proud to present the return of LIFT Festival, with two performances about war as part of 14-18 NOW. Dutch theatre company Hotel Modern use live animation, puppetry and a miniature film set to recreate the Western Front on a tiny scale in the London Premiere of The Great War (24-26 June), while 11 Chilean actors recreate their parent’s lives under Pinochet in the UK premiere of Lola Arias’s verbatim theatre piece El Año En Que Nací (The Year I Was Born) (24-26 June).


In July internationally acclaimed singer Camille O'Sullivan performs the London premiere of Shakespeare's politically charged, sexually provocative and violent thriller – The Rape of Lucrece (9-12 July). A Royal Shakespeare Company production, this rarely performed tragedy is brought to life through storytelling and song, as O'Sullivan takes on the roles of both Tarquin and Lucrece with original music played live by Feargal Murray on piano.

Well, we had this one first at the Edinburgh Festival. So, I suppose we won the Camilles.


Clod Ensemble’s Red Ladies will take over Southbank Centre’s site for two days this summer (15-16 July). The troupe of identically dressed women will perform a series of mysterious, visually arresting interventions before rendezvousing in Southbank Centre’s Purcell Room to perform their 'theatrical demonstration' in five movements, set to an original score with live drums and violin. The tour continues to Malvern Theatres (19 July) and Margate Theatre Royal (25 & 26 July).

Then they are coming to the Fringe (please...)

Quebec's iconoclastic L'Orchestre d'Hommes-Orchestres (LODHO) return to Southbank Centre this summer after four-star reviews last year for their idiosyncratic take on the music of Tom Waits. In Shattered Cabaret: The Songs of Kurt Weill (29 July – 3 August), LODHO present the UK premiere of a piece at the crossroads of theatre, cabaret, visual art and performance as eight musicians use rare instruments and 'music-objects' to conjure up Weill's dramatic musical world.

When her infamous magic striptease act Hanky Panky was illicitly videoed and posted online, strangers started sending Ursula Martinez, the Olivier award-winning star of La Clique/La Soirée, unbelievable emails. At first Martinez was so disturbed by these emails that she filtered her inbox and didn't read them, but eventually she came to see them as an amazing source of material for a show – My Stories, Your Emails. The show comes to Southbank Centre following sell-out seasons around the world (5-10 August).


Inspired by their work with The Alzheimer’s Society, Platform 4’s Memory Points is an intimate piece about memory loss for groups of up to five people (6-17 August). Wearing headphones, audiences will be guided around Southbank Centre’s unseen spaces by a unique soundtrack to encounter beautiful installations.


Following her sold-out Southbank Centre performances of That Catherine Bennett Show and a sold-out run at Soho Theatre with Credible Likeable Superstar Role Model, Southbank Centre is proud to host the return of Bryony Kimmings with her hit show Sex Idiot (12-16 August). This funny and unapologetic account of female sexuality in the 21st century focuses on Kimmings’s discovery that she had an STI, and is a cabaret of performance, dance, song and chat.

There is more cabaret from much loved trio The Tiger Lillies, who bring their Rime of the Ancient Mariner back to Southbank Centre following much heralded performances around the world (29-31 August). The cult-creators of the Olivier Award-winning Shockheaded Peter take Coleridge's tale of the sinister and supernatural and add a dash of music-hall panache, with stunning visuals by Mark Holthusen across 25 songs.

And I haven't even started on the dance yet.