Tips from the Paste Pot

Hi, I'm Paste Pot Pete. You might remember me as one of the deadliest villains in the Marvel Universe. I have been asked to fill in for Gareth, because he seems to be having some kind of midlife crisis. We've opened the phone-lines, and I am here to help you find your ideal show in the pit of venality that is the Edinburgh Fringe 2014. I can also give good advice about removing stains, or Adhesive X if you have been in a fight with Baron Zemo.

Hello, Pete. I'm an aging man who is finding it hard to understand society these days. I really need to be told what to think by equally bitter middle-aged pundits.

Thank you for calling. I have got just the show for you: Julie Burchill: Absolute Cult. On the back of Tim Fountains last piece about the misanthropic ex-punk ranter, Lizzie Roper plays Burchill as she wonders whether she can pay her bills by doing that sad celebrity thing. Burchill is rather close to my heart. Back in the day, before I became the Trapster and almost defeated Spider-Man in a team up with The Shocker, I was a little like her. It wasn't until The Human Torch laughed in my face that I realised I was making a fool of myself in public - I think Julie Burchill has a similar problem.
30 July-25 August
Gilded Balloon Teviot

Hi Pete, great to see you back. Do you remember that time when your ally The Wizard got annoyed with you and threw you into a time-loop? That was hilarious: even your oldest pal thinks you're a joke. I am just wondering whether there are any shows that are about the past, to bring back memories of the good old days.

Actually, as it happens, I escaped that time-loop, so you'll find the laugh was on The Wizard. Anyway, what's a little betrayal between friends? You expect it in my line.

When I was in the time-loop, I especially enjoyed visiting the time of the Bloomsbury scene. Dyad productions are adapting Dalloway. 1923: The War is over.  While Clarissa Dalloway prepares a party in Westminster, Septimus Smith is diagnosed with shell-shock, and their memories and dreams magically intertwine with those of 15 other disparate souls, this hot blue day in June. Conjuring the hopes and regrets of middle- and upper-class London, this adaptation of Virginia Woolf’s celebrated map of hearts, minds and memories offers a compellingly feminine response to the aftermath of the First World War.

Assembly @ George Square (Venue: Roxy Upstairs)

11:30 - 12:55 daily, Jul 31 – Aug 25 (except Aug 12)

I think we have time for one more, before I go off to my Narcotic Anonymous meeting. All those years shooting glue at people has left me with a bit of a habit, which meant I kept going back to crime. Even after the time I helped Captain America, I ended up back on the glue, and ended up getting a kicking off Daredevil.

Thanks for listening, Pete. I know that you are famous for being the only villain to get beaten up by an empty building, when you tried to invade the Baxter Building when the Fantastic Four were on holiday. Since you are so strongly associated with losing to the weakest heroes in the Marvel Universe, how about a show that is set somewhere you wouldn't end up stuck in your own paste, or get flung into the Vault with other idiotic bad guys.

I admit I fancy a change of scene: and where better than Western Lapland? Ridiculusmus are bringing The Eradication of Schizophrenia in Western Lapland: two sets of scenes  performed simultaneously to recreate the experience of auditory hallucination in a new work informed by a treatment method for psychosis that has virtually eradicated schizophrenia there.

Summerhall, Dissection Room

1st – 24th August, 12 noon (80 mins)

That's all I've got time for now. Hope to see you soon, and remember: if you don't want it to stick, make sure you've got plenty of lubricant!