Sympathy for Criticulous

Please allow me to introduce myself
I'm a man of wealth and taste
I've been around for a long, long year
Reviewed many a man's art and waste
And I was 'round when Aeschylus
gave the patriarchy it's foundation myth
Made damn sure that Sophocles
bashed his head and sealed his fate
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guess my name
But what's puzzling you
Is the nature of my game
I stuck around The Globe Theatre
When I saw it was a time for a change
Killed the unities and the chorus
Aristotle screamed in vain
I wrote the script
When Gypsy stripped
When the vaudeville raged
And the absurdists sank.
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guess my name, oh yeah
Ah, what's puzzling you
Is the nature of my game, oh yeah
I watched with glee
While your kings and queens
Did their formal masques
For the courtier who amazed
I shouted out,
"Who killed the Fringe again?"
When after all
It was you and me
Let me please introduce myself
I'm a man of wealth and taste
And I laid traps for neo-brutalists
Who get killed before they reached Bombay
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name, oh yeah
But what's puzzling you
Is the nature of my game, oh yeah, get down, baby
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name, oh yeah
But what's confusing you
Is just the nature of my game
Just as every audience is an artist
And all the critics fools
As heads is tails
Just call me Criticulous
Cause I'm in need of some restraint
So if you meet me
Have some courtesy
Have some sympathy, and some taste
Use all your well-learned politesse
Or I'll lay your show to waste, um yeah
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name, um yeah
But what's puzzling you
Is the nature of my game, um mean it, get down
Woo, who
Oh yeah, get on down
Oh yeah
Oh yeah!
Tell me baby, what's my name
Tell me honey, can ya guess my name
Tell me baby, what's my name
I tell you one time, you're to blame
Ooo, who
Ooo, who
Ooo, who
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Oh, yeah
What's me name
Tell me, baby, what's my name
Tell me, sweetie, what's my name
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Oh, yeah