A Vile Valentine

 Following the success of A Date with a Dramturg and A Coffee with a Critic, the VileArts is proud to announce their latest one-to-one venture: A Very Vile Valentine.

Picking up on previous performances, including A Drunken Rampage Fuelled by Absinthe and Romantic Disillusion, The Last Temptation of Criticulous and Fifty Shades of Meh, performance critic and cultural scholar Gareth K Vile is presenting his one night only show for one special person. Full details are to be confirmed, but it will be a night to remember. Especially since there will be no drinking in the auditorium, only coffee.

With the full evening programme to be revealed to the lucky

audience member, Vile watchers have noticed that he is working on a new monologue, tentatively titled I've had a bit of a cold this week. His classic, What do you mean ontology is not important? has been edited with a special romantic flavour. 

So, if you want to win a night with Vile - and give it to the person you hate the most as a punishment - then complete this sentence in as many words as you like, and send it to thevilearts@gmail.com

Critics may not enter.

I want to spend an evening with Vile because.....