The Real Origin of Mad Cyril...

Oy oy Ontroerend Goed. I wanna word. 

Now it seems like Vile's got is ot little ands on a copy of ya 'blueprints for theatre performance.' Naw, as ya know, Vile's a bit ov a fan, an he was pretty excited to ave a ganda at ya scripts, only...

Ta see that intro ta Audience. Where ya say it caused a bit ov bovva in the UK? Some geeza frew a shoe at ya? Well, that shoe-flinga was me, an it was nuffin to do wiv not likin what ya were up ta. I was jus joinin in. An you farkin started it.

It's like this, sunshine. Audience was all abaht the audience response, right. An I knew from the minute it kicked off, that you was gonna fuck wiv us. Thas why I didn't stand up when you told us ta. I was like, nah, they are gunna video this an play it back later. Fuck that.

Then that bit where ya gave some women gyp? I knew somefin like that was gunna happen, so I took my shoes off before ya even started. I'd been checkin up on ya, knew ya could handle a bit of trouble, and was waitin for ma chance. When ee kicked off on that bint, I kicked off on him, and gave him a shoeing.

The shoe's a political symbol, chuckles. Like they frew one at George Bush that one time then, it's a big thing in Muslim societies. It means ya being a muvahfucka. 

But I was jus joinin in, G. It weren't no protest, I fort ya were makin a point about how passive the audience becomes. 

In my case, I ain't puttin up with ya nonsense. Ya seem to be sayin that some character bunged is shoes at ya cos he was offended. I weren't. I farkin luv this show, Audience. I was givin ya somefin to play off, see whevver you could live up to ya hype.

Ya boy did okay. I called im a cunt a coupla time, ee said ee was sorry abaht it, an he got on wiv is acting. When he kicked off on the piece again, the audience only fuckin turned to me and told me to frow my ovver shoe. I told em to fuck off and do it theirselves. 'I ain't responsible for yous cunts,' were my exact words.

Gareth K Vile comments
In retrospect, this action was the first manifestation of my critical avatar, Mad Cyril. If I am the father of Mad Cyril, then Ontroerend Goed are the mother. Collectively.

Mad Cyril continues
And Audience was the womb he shot is load up. See, Cyril's ere to say what Vile daren't, cos ee's a liberal pussy. I am like you, Ontroerend Goed: the critical mirror to your aggressive deconstruction of theatrical form. Simples.

I am the Critical Thug.

Parklife, eh?