The Book of Criticulous, Chapter I

Now there was a day when the Critics came to present themselves before the police, and Criticulous came also among them.

And the Detective said unto Criticulous: 'Whence comest thou?'

Then Criticulous answered the Detective, and said, From going to and fro in the earth, and from walking up and down in it. 

And the Detective said unto Criticulous, 'Hast thou considered the magic of theatre, that there is no art like it in the earth, a perfect and an upright medium, one that challenges audiences God, and escheweth evil?'

Then Criticulous answered the Detective, and said, 'Doth Theatre challenge audiences for nought? Hast not the audience made an hedge about it, and about its venue, and about all that he hath on every side?' The critics hast blessed the work of its actor, and his state funding is increased in the land.'

'But put forth thine hand now, and touch all that he hath, and he will curse thee to thy face.'

And the Detective said unto Criticulous: 'Behold, all that theatre hath is in thy power; only upon actors put not forth thine hand.'

So Criticulous went forth from the presence of the Detectives.