PERFORMANCE PROCESS FOILED BY TIMELY INTERVENTION

PRESS RELEASE... IMMEDIATE ATTENTION... 

THE HOMELESS CRITIC FINDS FIRST GOOD PERSON

Dateline 11 August 2015

On his birthday, The Homeless Critic has been taken in for a few days with another critic. Speaking from a palatial room by the sea-side, The Homeless Critic expressed his gratitude.

'It's funny, because the critic in question actually knows me, which means he had a good reason to ignore my plaintive cries for help. Yet here I am, having a delicious coffee - not instant - and chatting about statistical analysis and blogging strategies with the sound of waves gently lapping against the shore.'

'I am going to be very happy for a few days.'

However, this does not mean the Homeless Critic's quest for a roof over his head is complete. He is still seeking accommodation for the rest of the Fringe, recognising that his bland charm and loud voice makes him a better short than long term guest.

The Vile Arts is due to announce a series of rewards for people who help the Homeless Critic out.

'It'll include somefin abaht gettin im lunch and avin a bit on the blog. Mebbe a radio chat on his podcast, e'll do flyerin if you ask im nice,' said Mad Cyril, a frequent Vile collaborator. 'If you want some, I'm the man to give you some.'